Latest Reads: Singled Out

The Book:
In Singled Out: Why Celibacy Must Be Reinvented in Today's Church, Christine Colon and Bonnie Field canvass an impressive range of views on singleness and celibacy, from the early church fathers to contemporary Catholic thinkers to Joshua Harris to Henri Nouwen to Sex in the City.  In fact, a great deal of the book reads like an academic literature review, and the reader might just want to skip the first four chapters (spelling out positive and negative views of celibacy in secular and Christian culture).

Why I liked it:
The authors' aim seems to be to find a healthy, middle-of-the-road view of celibacy that doesn't portray it as either an ultra-holy state of marriage to God, or a pitiable state of unfulfillment, and they're interested in particular in an understanding of singleness that is relevant to the 30-and-beyond crowd, in contrast with abstinence literature that typically addresses teens and college students.  They do a great job identifying "dangerous messages" in Christianity, such as
the idea that sexual temptation is irresistible, God's calling always parallels our desires, marriage is how God blesses his faithful followers, or that we can't be mature, unselfish Christians without having a spouse/children.  They make some excellent points about the way singles are overlooked in churches where everything is family-oriented, and how youth groups often default to a (too-limited) marriage-prep approach to sexuality.  I particularly appreciated the idea that a single person could view their sexuality as a healthy aspect of their humanity, while choosing to pursue chastity as a spiritual discipline.  I think the authors are on the right track to suggest that for many singles, there is a tension inherent in the mismatch between the desire for marriage and the absence of a likely spouse that may never be resolved; perhaps the "called to celibacy" and "waiting for marriage" categories aren't the only ones a single person should consider.

Unanswered Questions:

• Is being a sexual being the same as being a relational being?  The authors' views seem to entail that a Platonic friendship between a man and woman would count as an expression of each's sexuality, but I would tend to think that it would be an expression of their relational natures or gender.  They state clearly that they believe sexuality is not merely about genital activity, but more could be said to clarify their understanding of sex, gender and relationality.
• The authors acknowledge that celibacy does not bring with it an "off" switch for the libido, and they're clear that they believe celibacy is a spiritual discipline that involves restraining sexual desires and refusing to view others lustfully as mere objects to satisfy those desires.  Would it be possible for a person to practice masturbation as a sexual outlet while maintaining the spiritual discipline of celibacy?
• I can buy the greater theological importance of nurturing spiritual children over biological children in the New Testament era, but does this amount to an erasure of the theological significance of procreation evident in the Old Testament?
• What is the theological significance of the marriage state?  It's certainly used in scripture to describe Christ's relationship with the church; Colon and Field favorably consider the view that celibacy is in turn a prophetic existence, a symbol of our eternal state when we are in perfect communion with God.  I worry that this gives too much theological significance to specific kinds of human relationships, instead of recognizing that relating to an infinite, eternal, perfect Creator and Sustainer cannot be adequately symbolized by any kind of inter-human relationships (even if we consider celibacy, marriage, friendship, parenting, suzerainty, and so on all taken together).
• What kind of friendship, community, and intimacy should the local church exhibit?  To what degree is the local church responsible for meeting the relational and support-network needs of single persons?
• Why are there more single women than men in the church?  Does it have to do with an excessive emphasis on felt needs over timeless truths?

More like this:
Christian Perspectives on Sexuality and Gender, edited by Elizabeth Stuart and Adrian Thatcher
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor
Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity, by Lauren Winner
Sexual Character: Beyond Technique to Intimacy, by Marva Dawn